What If

what if
i'm beautiful
will you love me?

what if
i know how to shine brighter of them all
will you look at me?

what if
i'm perfect for you
will you stay?

what if
i don't exist
will you actually suffer, like how i face this agonizing misery?

forgetting
feels like dying
but being forgotten
feels like being cremated alive

it feels like i'm gradually turning into nothing
but piles of dark ashes

what if
i'm really nothing but piles of dark ashes
will you clutch onto me?
or will you let go, and let me slip between your fingers?

what if
i'm no one
i guess
no matter how many lives i lived
i will only fall deeper
into this pit of hell

A.S