Hot Water & Love

Yesterday he was waiting at the terrace, welcoming me home with his big smile, "Halo cantik Papah."

I just finished a long shift and came home after going to a referral hospital. 

"Udah Papah siapin air panasnya." When he said that I quickly thought, maybe that's how love should be, an act of love, the small little thing. Like welcoming you home with a hot water. (I should've installed a hot water shower later)

After I took a bath, we talked like we used to. He comforted me, always. I talked about my new workplace, I talked about how big the other hospital is, I talked about basically everything. I love our almost midnight talk and I guess loving someone means you're willing to spend the rest of your lives talking to that particular person, right? 

Then I went to bed. 

This morning, I woke up late because I was so tired and I'm in my period. I woke up and said good morning to him. He was in our front yard, watering plants. But then I notice his slurred speech. He was complaining about instability in his left side. That was when I knew my worst nightmare is coming. 

My dad had a stroke. Who would've thought that after spending God knows how long time reading about stroke guideline, I would be standing in the ER watching my beloved father experiencing all the symptoms? 

We rushed into the ER.

Now he's at the High Care Unit, 

I have so many regrets, I have so many anxiety. 

I threw up everything I ate today. 

I will always keep him in my prayers, ya Allah... I love my dad so much, he's the strongest person I've ever know. 

Ya Allah..