For Good

Hi,

You have no idea how crazy my life has been in the past 2 years. 

First, we moved to Serang by the end of 2020. The house was sold. All things were packed. Ten years of Bengkulu era has gone. No more airplane ticket for coming home. One and a half-hour is enough.

Then, the news came out. My dad was rotated to... Samarinda. I bet you remember the city.

So, guess what? 

We decided to move back to Bogor. For good. 

Like... really. 

To my childhood home. The place where I cried every now and then after school. 

The place where I felt so alone

Huft, if it was at least five years ago, I would be thrilled, screamed at the top of my lungs. 

I thought I would be happy. 

But, I'm not. 

Again, I ask myself, shouldn't I be happy? 

Why can't I be happy?

Isn't it what we had been wished for?

The exact same feeling like I was in Europe.

For God's sake, I travelled around 10 countries in my 20s. Shouldn't I be happy? 

In fact, I wasn't.

I blame myself for not being able to be... happy.

How funny reality is.

I hate this city.

I guess, some prayers are better left ungranted. 

Hi there, are you happy now?